About Healing Roots
Counselling for people who are tired of leaving themselves behind
Healing Roots is an online counselling practice for thoughtful, capable adults who may look like they are coping, but underneath feel anxious, exhausted, over-responsible, or disconnected from themselves.
Many of the people I work with are used to being the reliable one. They notice what other people need. They keep the peace. They try hard. They explain, accommodate, smooth things over, hold things together, and quietly absorb more than their fair share.
From the outside, this can look like competence.
On the inside, it can feel like self-abandonment.
Healing Roots is for people who are beginning to wonder what life might look like if they no longer had to organise themselves around everyone else’s comfort.
When coping starts to cost too much
People often come to counselling because something that used to work has stopped working.
You may still be functioning. You may still be doing the job, caring for the family, replying to the messages, remembering the birthdays, making the plans, managing the crisis, and looking broadly “fine.”
But underneath, you may feel:
- exhausted in a way rest does not quite touch
- anxious, resentful, or emotionally flat
- unable to say no without guilt
- responsible for other people’s feelings
- unsure what you actually want
- stuck in repeating relationship patterns
- tired of being sensible, useful, easy-going, or strong
- aware of your patterns, but unable to change them
Counselling offers a place to slow down and ask different questions. Not, “What is wrong with me?” but, “How did I learn to live this way?” and “What might become possible now?”
You’re not broken. You’ve adapted.
People-pleasing, perfectionism, and over-responsibility do not appear from nowhere.
Often, they begin as safe ways to manage relationships, avoid conflict, or be accepted. They may have helped you stay connected, avoid criticism, cope with uncertainty, or feel useful in a world where your own needs did not seem to matter enough.
Those adaptations deserve respect. They may have worked remarkably well for a long time.
But now, maybe you've noticed your survival strategies have stopped working as well as they used to. The scaffolding that once supported you can start to feel like a cage.
Therapy is not about blaming the past, forcing confidence, or trying to become someone else. It is about understanding what shaped you, why old patterns still have such a hold, and what other options might become possible now.
How I work
Relational, holistic counselling with depth
My work is relational, which means I pay attention not only to what you tell me, but to how it feels to be you in relationship.
That might include how easy or difficult it feels to take up space, disagree, need something, feel angry, receive care, disappoint someone, be seen, or not be “fine.”
The relationship between us matters. Counselling can be a place where old patterns are noticed with care, not judgement. You do not have to perform OKness, competence, or calm. You do not have to arrive with everything neatly explained.
My work is also holistic. I am interested in the whole person: your relationships, history, body, emotions, thoughts, patterns, culture, creativity, work, family, losses, hopes, and contradictions. We may explore what you understand intellectually, but also what you feel, avoid, repeat, dismiss, over-explain, or struggle to believe you are allowed to want.
My work is informed by Transactional Analysis, a therapeutic approach that helps us understand how early messages, roles, and survival strategies can shape adult life. You do not need to know the theory. We will use it only where it helps you make sense of yourself.
The aim is to support awareness, self-trust, and agency – so that change becomes something you can practise, not just something you understand.
A little about me
Hello, I'm Vanessa
I offer individual online counselling for adults in the UK, with a particular interest in people-pleasing, burnout, over-responsibility, self-abandonment, and old relationship patterns.
This work matters to me because I know how easy it can be to become highly adapted to other people’s needs and lose sight of your own. I care about offering a thoughtful, steady space where people can understand themselves more deeply and begin to relate to themselves with more honesty, warmth and choice.
My practice is grounded in professional training, ethical practice, and regular supervision.
I’m welcoming new clients from September.
You are welcome to join the waiting list now. I’ll get in touch to arrange an introductory call, so that you can decide if we’re a good fit for each other once spaces become available.
Sessions are online, 50 minutes long, cost £60, and usually take place weekly, with openings in the evenings to support your busy lifestyle.
I work with adults in the UK, and currently offer individual counselling only. I do not offer couples therapy, family therapy or crisis support."With Vanessa, I feel like I have someone I can talk to - about literally anything."
– D, counselling client